Dear sweet lordy I wish this was an April Fool's joke, but it's not, unfortunately. This was an honest-to-goodness speed-through that went horribly, irreversibly wrong. I apologize for this, and it will haunt me for the rest of my days.

Taking a short break.

I'm sorry, guys. But I need to take a break until May. Seriously, this thing will kill me otherwise. Sorry.